[There was a long silence on Ardyn's side as he debated what to say; whether he had any right or reason to confess what was told to him privately, or if it would be a step too far.]
he spoke on the matter to me once, only briefly. it seems a matter laden with heavy complexities, at best.
He knows now that if I could be assured it would not put the Shards at risk I could bring him back.
And now, key aspects of his Tempering fight against each other: the need to make his world whole again, versus the innate need to remain bound to Zodiark's will.
The difference between him and the Tempered I am accustomed to dealing with is unfathomable. I did not know this would happen, but I still should have said nothing.
i do not wish to speak at length of what he expressed to me without his knowledge, but it is safe to say that even were the removal of such tempering possible, the crisis of faith and morality alone would be enough to break even the most steadfast.
i do not think you can fully blame yourself, with no true firsthand experience of such a condition. i can merely remark that what one clings to in order to keep themselves comparatively sane can become a chain as much as it is a tether.
It is possible to undo. If the god does not release their grip willingly, another with a stronger will can Temper them instead.
[ She remembers the Royal Menagerie. The words Zenos said, bathed in the warm light of the setting sun, surrounded by beautiful flowers. He was a stain amidst such loveliness — even moreso than the Primal he had bound and chained.
But he had subjugated Shinryu as though the will of a god was nothing. Implied that she could do the same, if only she tried.
She feels sick at the thought, wanting no part of it. But if it could benefit Hades...
Era sends another message not long after the last: ]
i agree that if this is to be done, extreme caution needs be taken at each step. it is a difficult situation regardless, where he can not truly give an objective answer as to whether it would be something he desired changed.
I can only tell you as he has told me; that to be without such faith would be among the most terrifying things imaginable.
I hate that I cannot ever know what he truly wishes. Not with Zodiark crushing him with His grip.
I know he does not wish to be dead. I know what he is like, and I feel as though it is what he would desire, save for the reality of his past actions crashing down upon him.
One does not need a deity to have faith.
My faith is not of Hydaelyn, but of my loved ones. My faith lies in the present and future. My faith is the knowledge that for all the cruelties of mortal men, people are still inherently good.
I have been called a beacon of hope; hope incarnate. With my life I give people hope, and with my death it will fade away.
If I could give him anything, I would give him that. Hope, for the present and future. Faith in the worlds he could then see with unburdened eyes.
Hope that he can atone for his past, and faith that he will succeed.
i find as time goes on here, more am i finding myself of the belief that one can commit terrible, unforgivable acts and yet not themselves be innately evil in nature. more and more do i find myself beginning to understand the space between black and white, and that perhaps 'good' and 'evil' merely don't exist.
similarly do i question my own faith, and in this regard i understand his fears; that without that concrete meaning and reason behind one's acts, the very purpose for their existence seems to unravel around them.
i acknowledge the terrible things you and he alike say he has done in amaurot's name, but even so hades has been kind to me and is my friend. i would wish a better path for him, perhaps even with a shred of hope can one be found. i urge only caution in doing so, for his sake and yours alike.
I do not believe any one person is innately 'evil'. There are too many perspectives to consider. One nation's war is another nation's peace. One mother's pride is another's sorrow. One story's hero is the other's villain.
I will take utmost caution should I resolve to attempt this. It will take a great deal of time and preparation, as I would not dare risk harming him. To see him hurting brings me such pain, I can scarcely describe it.
I have already killed him once, Ardyn. With the place he now holds in my heart I could not bear doing so again.
i trust you, era. you are my friend as well, and for both your sake and his you will ever have my aid however i am capable of giving it. i promise you that.
You are a skilled healer aligned to Darkness — your aid would certainly be a boon.
And you are a dear friend to us both, even if you had naught to offer but your presence it would be a welcome gift.
I will keep you abreast of any progress. If you know of any who may have knowledge of souls or deities that could be of use, please pass along my name and my interest.
You have been a kind ear (or eye) to me many times, despite knowing me for only a scant few months. You have been there for me as I struggle, offering kind words, thoughtful input, and comfort I am frankly unaccustomed to.
I know you have also been a friend to Hades, which is an invaluable gift. For so long he has had no one, and now he has you.
I do not consider just anyone to be as family to me, Ardyn Lucis Caelum.
i admit i hesitate when it comes to matters of family, in some measure upon which i have chosen to remain silent. but know that such hesitation is upon me, and is no reflection of you or my sentiments therein. i care for you considerably, and am truly honored you think of me as such.
you and he alike have been companions beyond worth or measure, and all i wish is to help you both in turn.
I know my value as the Warrior of Light. As 'Era'... I am still learning. It has ever been easier to be a weapon, for where a person may falter a weapon holds strong. And for all that I must protect, I cannot dare falter.
It was only recently that I began to realize just what 'family' truly is. I cannot say I have the same hesitations as you, but I can understand why you have them and how difficult they can be to overcome.
To know that you care for me is gladdening, and I need nothing beyond that. For all that I think of you as 'brother', I would never expect the same sentiment in return, nor ever want you to feel it necessary.
If it is of interest, it was not that the visions I received from Somnus changed how I felt, but brought clarity to the feelings that were already present.
You are already helping more than words can express, just by being a friend to us.
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Thank you for sharing this with me, Ardyn. If there is ever aught I can do in return, please let me know.
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he spoke on the matter to me once, only briefly. it seems a matter laden with heavy complexities, at best.
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He knows now that if I could be assured it would not put the Shards at risk I could bring him back.
And now, key aspects of his Tempering fight against each other: the need to make his world whole again, versus the innate need to remain bound to Zodiark's will.
The difference between him and the Tempered I am accustomed to dealing with is unfathomable. I did not know this would happen, but I
still should have said nothing.
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i do not think you can fully blame yourself, with no true firsthand experience of such a condition. i can merely remark that what one clings to in order to keep themselves comparatively sane can become a chain as much as it is a tether.
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While Tempered, he is safe from the full weight of the eight worlds he helped destroy.
[ to bring up a crisis of faith and morality... she can think of no other reason for Ardyn to bring that up. ]
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in short, even were undoing such a thing possible it would be likely to cause irreparable damage beyond measure.
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[ She remembers the Royal Menagerie. The words Zenos said, bathed in the warm light of the setting sun, surrounded by beautiful flowers. He was a stain amidst such loveliness — even moreso than the Primal he had bound and chained.
But he had subjugated Shinryu as though the will of a god was nothing. Implied that she could do the same, if only she tried.
She feels sick at the thought, wanting no part of it. But if it could benefit Hades...
Era sends another message not long after the last: ]
I need to gain control of the Echo, Ardyn.
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if it should fail to work somehow, the results could be cataclysmically bad for him, and heavens only know what might happen to you.
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I don't know what could happen to him. I would need to be very clear on what bindings to place
just something to make the past bearable
I just want him to be free. But to be wholly free would destroy him, and so it would be a balance
The one I witnessed subjugate a god had his 'ability' for a shorter length of time than I.
I could figure it out. I can figure it out.
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I can only tell you as he has told me; that to be without such faith would be among the most terrifying things imaginable.
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I know he does not wish to be dead. I know what he is like, and I feel as though it is what he would desire, save for the reality of his past actions crashing down upon him.
One does not need a deity to have faith.
My faith is not of Hydaelyn, but of my loved ones. My faith lies in the present and future. My faith is the knowledge that for all the cruelties of mortal men, people are still inherently good.
I have been called a beacon of hope; hope incarnate. With my life I give people hope, and with my death it will fade away.
If I could give him anything, I would give him that. Hope, for the present and future. Faith in the worlds he could then see with unburdened eyes.
Hope that he can atone for his past, and faith that he will succeed.
But for now I can give him nothing.
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similarly do i question my own faith, and in this regard i understand his fears; that without that concrete meaning and reason behind one's acts, the very purpose for their existence seems to unravel around them.
i acknowledge the terrible things you and he alike say he has done in amaurot's name, but even so hades has been kind to me and is my friend. i would wish a better path for him, perhaps even with a shred of hope can one be found. i urge only caution in doing so, for his sake and yours alike.
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I will take utmost caution should I resolve to attempt this. It will take a great deal of time and preparation, as I would not dare risk harming him. To see him hurting brings me such pain, I can scarcely describe it.
I have already killed him once, Ardyn. With the place he now holds in my heart I could not bear doing so again.
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And you are a dear friend to us both, even if you had naught to offer but your presence it would be a welcome gift.
I will keep you abreast of any progress. If you know of any who may have knowledge of souls or deities that could be of use, please pass along my name and my interest.
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You have been a kind ear (or eye) to me many times, despite knowing me for only a scant few months. You have been there for me as I struggle, offering kind words, thoughtful input, and comfort I am frankly unaccustomed to.
I know you have also been a friend to Hades, which is an invaluable gift. For so long he has had no one, and now he has you.
I do not consider just anyone to be as family to me, Ardyn Lucis Caelum.
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i admit i hesitate when it comes to matters of family, in some measure upon which i have chosen to remain silent. but know that such hesitation is upon me, and is no reflection of you or my sentiments therein. i care for you considerably, and am truly honored you think of me as such.
you and he alike have been companions beyond worth or measure, and all i wish is to help you both in turn.
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It was only recently that I began to realize just what 'family' truly is. I cannot say I have the same hesitations as you, but I can understand why you have them and how difficult they can be to overcome.
To know that you care for me is gladdening, and I need nothing beyond that. For all that I think of you as 'brother', I would never expect the same sentiment in return, nor ever want you to feel it necessary.
If it is of interest, it was not that the visions I received from Somnus changed how I felt, but brought clarity to the feelings that were already present.
You are already helping more than words can express, just by being a friend to us.